The last post of the challenge

31 days later…

We made it! You made it, I made it. I wrote everyday for the month of January (minus the first since I didn’t see the challenge until the 2nd). I made one of my goals for the new year, blog everyday for a month. And I’m happy to report that by simply posting once a day, my stats improved greatly. Like from about 500 views in December to nearly 1500 in January. So about 3x more traffic. AND the weirdest thing, my other blog (www.selfevolve.co) also saw decent traffic this month without a single post this month.

But I didn’t only do it for the increased traffic (which is always nice) I also had a lot on my mind that I wanted to get out there for you guys. This also helped prove to myself that I could still obtain a goal or New Year’s resolution if you will. While I appreciate resolutions, I prefer to break them into bite-sized goals. This was just the first piece to a way bigger puzzle that I’m working towards with my blogs and writing. Actually an eBook may be on the horizon. Once I determine what I want to write about. That’s my biggest problem, I have so many passions and want to pursue them all at once.

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Like the year I ran a marathon. My first marathon ever. That wasn’t a new year’s resolution. Actually I am pretty sure I said something close to I would never ever run a full marathon in my life. Instead, it was God’s resolution for me. He prescribed it as a way for me to heal after my very recent divorce. Instead of licking a fresh wound of divorce, I’m going to make you train and run a 26.2 mile race to prove that you can make new wounds and heal from those as well.

That was the year I signed up for something that I couldn’t even imagine the end of. The training took 4 months, countless hours running and growing in my faith and friendships of the people I met along the way. But most importantly, I grew closer to God. There were days that I dreaded running, but I got the miles in anyways. There were days where I would just pull out the headphones and talk to God the entire run. And it was through the strength and willpower He instilled in me that I finished that Chicago marathon on that way too hot October day in 2017.

And here I am, over 6 months pregnant and once again God is putting the marathon on my heart. It’s not a New Year’s resolution or even a goal. It is a one-day goal of mine to finish another marathon, this time faster. I just don’t know if a marathon is even feasible this year. Especially since A. I haven’t been running (at least not fast nor for longer than a mile) B. I’m having a baby in April and training begins 6 weeks later and C. what do I do with said baby while running all them miles? BUT I know if God wills it, it’ll happen. So I just pray everyday and holding off on the sign-up until I know I can run and put in the time to train.

What goals do you have? And what goals have you accomplished recently or in the past?

Breaking the habit

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I don’t know about you, but for me it’s hard to break a habit once I’ve incorporated it into my daily routine. Some habits are good, like brushing your teeth or working out. But some habits are bad, like eating an entire box of cookies in one sitting. I’m not here to talk about good or bad habits, rather I’m going to focus on comfortable habits.

We are creatures of habit. We are predictable. We enjoy routine, and don’t like disruption. Sometimes, we start doing something because we enjoy it. For example, I started practicing Kung Fu in 2011 because I enjoyed the exercise, the learning experience, and the community. I saw many benefits outpouring from the training, and decided to make it a habit. Even when I was scraping by financially, I still made it a priority and found the means to continue paying for the classes.

This was a good habit that I incorporated into my life to make it better. But sometimes I’ve incorporated a bad habit just because it makes me feel better. Or I add something to my routine because at first it seems great, but over time I start making excuses when it’s really not so great.

I’ve found myself in this sort of cycle when it comes to dating and relationships. I tend to be attracted to the same type of guy: a little arrogant, a little smart, very good looking, self-absorbed, and fake(?) nice. Every time I start having feelings for someone like this, I see past the bad qualities and only see the good stuff, the surface things. But over time, the truth shows it’s ugly head. And my problem is that I start making excuses for them. In my head they aren’t perfect, but they’re also not terrible. In reality, they’re just not the right person for me. But for some reason, I can’t let go.

Is it the fact that by this time I’ve spent time, money and energy on them? Or maybe because it feels comfortable. They’re always around, and I enjoy their company. Or am I just used to their company and can’t remember how it was before? Then I feel trapped. How can I break this habit? This cycle of self-destruction, of dating the wrong guy. The list of wrong guys I’ve dated seems endless, and all at once it feels like I’m staring down into an empty bottle. Where are the good guys? Better yet, where’s the right guy for me? Does he even exist?

So I challenged myself for this year: I’m breaking this cycle I’ve allowed myself to fall into. Moving forward, I will be honest with every guy I meet. If after talking once or twice they don’t meet my standards (deal-breakers), then I will be very clear in regards to my intentions and how I see them. This is something I thought I was capable of doing last year, but I lost my way. I let my guard down, and I let the wrong person in. No regrets, because life is all about learning and growing. And I’m learning and growing everyday.