The Color of Compromise

About six weeks ago, I joined a zoom meeting and had no idea what to expect. I was the youngest person in the meeting, and the entire meeting was uncomfortable and interesting. We watched (or listened, rather) to an episode of “The Color of Compromise” and had an open and honest discussion afterwards. I was so engaged in listening that I nearly forgot to say anything. Since then, we’ve met another two times and I wanted to write about my journey so far.

As many of you know, I am the mother of a beautiful and amazing biracial baby girl. When I decided to join this group, I never imagined I’d be crying during the third meeting. Nor did I expect to find others who have experienced racism similar to me (or rather, my daughter). See, I’m not the only one praying for my child (or grandchild) and their future in this climate. It is 2020 and only recently did the Washington Football Team change their name and finally dropped the racial slur Redskins. It is 2020 and I still hear close family members share their opinions on my dating life (I’m an equal-opportunity dater). It is 2020 and yet it feels like the 1800s.

Which led to me crying. When will it get better? Sometimes, I get so very overwhelmed. But what I heard this past meeting sparked a new hope within me. I may not be able to change the world, but I can work on myself and help to change my circle. And circle by circle, change can start and have a ripple effect. So, I am challenging myself by putting myself in these uncomfortable conversations. I am pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I mostly listen, but I also am learning how I can change myself from within to be more accepting and loving of others.

Because at the end of the day, that is what it’s about. Loving others as God loves us. How are you trying to be a better version of yourself? What are you doing to abolish hate and racism?

Magnetic Energy

Have you ever met someone and instantly connected with them? Almost like a magnet, they draw you into their world and make you feel welcome. Like your energy melds well with theirs, and you both give off a similar vibe.

I’ve noticed that this tends to happen when I meet other positive and passionate people like me. When I meet someone, I try to read their vibe and adjust my approach to them accordingly. I have a lot of energy, but am exclusive in regards to who I share it with. Usually when I first join a new group of people, I remain pretty quiet as I observe everyone and how they interact with each other. For example, I started running with this fun run group about two months ago and I didn’t really tell anyone much about me until about 3 to 4 weeks into it.

Another good example is a new job. It usually takes me about 2-3 months to warm up enough to be a fraction of myself at a new job. I do this so that I can learn the company culture and environment without tainting it with my craziness. This is also a way for me to be careful that I don’t overstep my bounds at a new company. What tends to happen is that most people think I don’t know English or that I’m from a different country that’s how quiet and shy I seem those first few months. I’ve had many people ask me where I’m from and when I respond with Chicago they ask but where were you born? Chicago. Still Chicago.

As long as you’re positive and passionate, we will likely get along. Just don’t lie to me. And don’t call me Jenny. Do you have a magnetic personality? Do you give out your energy? Or do you reserve it for only certain people? Or maybe no one other than yourself? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks!

FB_IMG_1495228859921