I’m going to be completely honest with you. 99% of my posts are geared towards women. No offense to the guys, I just relate better with those with ovaries. But someone I met and went on a handful of dates with last year has apologized to me and more recently after apologizing again has asked me to share some insights and tips to “not screw up like how I did with you.”
So all of you get to reap the benefits! By no means is this an exhaustive list, but it is definitely the things that keep me coming back. And I could totally tear this guy (and others) apart by listing what they’ve done wrong. But I like to keep things positive and suggest some simple things they can work towards in order to do everything to attract the next great person that they come across.
Next time you find yourself in the presence of someone awesome, focus on the following things:
- Be honest. Y’all don’t even know how many times a guy has lied to me. May it be a white lie to make himself look better, or a bigger lie because he’s guessing at what I like and what I want to hear. Guys, be honest and be yourself. I’m not going to fall for that fake guy you’re painting. I strive to be completely honest (minus the sarcasm) and I expect the same from you.
- Listen. Most girls love to learn about you, but also adore an active listener. I can’t tell you how often I sit down with someone and every time I’m talking they’re just thinking about what they want to say next. I know how it works, my mom was a master at not listening and just thinking about what she was going to say next (if she even let you talk in the first place!). Guys, I love it when you talk about yourself and I will listen carefully but I expect the same from you!
- Be a gentleman. This is a dying art. Holding a door for a girl goes a long way. The things I notice seem small but go a long way. Are you opening the car door for me, or the restaurant/building door wherever we’re going? Do you walk me to my car? Do you offer a hand when it’s slippery? Do you say please and thank you? It’s silly but these tiny things don’t go un-noticed.
- Be patient. Last but certainly not least, don’t pressure a girl into anything physical. Almost every guy I dated last year wanted to sleep with me ASAP. Like whoa boy, get to know me first. If you really do want to end up with a quality woman, you’ll be willing to wait and follow her rules. And it’ll be worth it.
What are some things you focus on when dating?