In case you somehow haven’t heard, I’m having a baby. While I’m beyond excited and blessed to be experiencing this amazing new Mom thing, my story isn’t the typical one. Then again, it’s 2018 and who goes by the book anymore anyways?
I’m single and jobless. While the first is a choice, the second wasn’t. I normally wouldn’t worry, other than I hear kids are expensive and right now money is already tight with no income. Of course, I gave it all over to God and I had a third interview today. But you never know, and the new Mom in me is already a worry-wart. While my friends are busy congratulating me, beyond excited for my new bundle of joy, I am counting the dollars in my head to figure out just how long can I make it without a job?
I haven’t been jobless in over 14 years. I legitimately can’t remember not working. But I digress. This post isn’t about money or jobs. It’s actually about how people reacted to the news: single and expecting. Most people just said Wow! Congrats! with a few You go girl! Single parenthood is easier than ever these days. But I did get a limited few asking me if I was going to date/marry the father of the baby. Obviously, I expect this from the older generations, but when friends my age asked me that I was taken aback. I guess, ideally, a child should be raised by both parents in the same environment. I get that, I was married before so I totally understand. But when I choose to have a baby while also choosing to be single, it kinda surprised me. Here I am reading up the best way to raise a baby by myself, miss independent style. And my Dad’s like when’s the wedding?
It’s cool though, I guess there’s that hopeless romantic part of me that was secretly hoping it’d work out like a fairy tale. But then reality hit like a semi-truck. Left me alone to change the kitty litter boxes by myself (don’t worry, I’m taking the necessary precautions). While I am and will be alone during this growing a baby process, I’m actually not alone.
I have the most amazing friends and family. My church and running community here in Oak Park has already gone above and beyond for me. Walking my dog, planning a gender reveal, and already talking about baby showers. My Dad and his Fiancee have been helping me rearrange and clean out my condo. My best friend in Chicago has helped me get rid of about 50% of the clutter in my condo, mostly to make room to breathe and eventually for my mini-me. The hoarder in me isn’t happy, but man is it nice to actually be able to move easily in my condo and not feel trapped by my past. Let go and live on.
I guess my point is, just because you’re a single parent doesn’t mean you have to do this alone. It takes a village. Even if the other parent isn’t in the picture, the most important thing to focus on is providing an excellent environment for growth. I’ve met with many elders who are wise beyond my years, and the most solid advice I’ve been given was that my happiness and joy will be apparent to my little one. If I’m not happy, they will sense that. So everyday I strive to wipe away the tears and find the joy in my surroundings. This isn’t hard to do when you have so much to be thankful for. I’m truly blessed, not just with the baby but also with everyone and everything in my life. I have the ability to workout, to run, to walk. To be healthy. To eat well. And to live life to it’s fullest.
I feel closer than ever to God through this situation and can only imagine how much my faith will grow through this new season of life. I hope my story helps bring encouragement and strength to those who are also going through similar struggles.