The Struggle to Imperfection

The struggle is real. And it’s been something that I have been battling my entire life. And it’s way more than trying to obtain perfection, or even being good at something. It’s being able to try my hardest, every day, every time I practice, and being okay with not improving, or not actually being good at it. Whatever the it may be. In elementary school, it was playing the violin. I seriously considered quitting in seventh grade because I felt like no matter how much I practiced (which wasn’t much as it was) I wasn’t improving at all. After much debate with myself, I decided to stick with it for the long run and I played through college. Unfortunately, I rarely pick up the instrument these days since college, even though I have a lovely instrument I could play at any time. 

Over the past few years, I’ve been practicing Seven Star Praying Mantis Kung Fu and I have been trying to improve myself not only in kung fu, but also in exercising and running in general, I’ve been trying my best to get into good shape and be healthy/happy with my body. Long story short, despite how hard I try at kung fu or running or anything to do with exercise, I never feel like I’m improving or getting any good at it. I don’t let it deter me though. I have decided to give it my all, no matter what, unless I am so bad that the teacher kicks me out of the school, which sometimes I dream is my fate. But until that moment, I will continue to try my best and hardest and I will never give up. Hence all the motivational pictures on Instagram (sorry to my followers).

Without motivation, I will crumble into a ball on the floor since everyday I wake up and I think to myself why even bother? I know that despite what I think, I have improved in kung fu and running and even being in better shape. But it’s hard when you’re at the bottom of the class and you see everyone else bypass you. I try my best to remain positive and only focus on myself and how I can improve against myself. I am my own worst enemy. But I know that I won’t accept myself if I just give up, or if I just give “average” effort. I have to try my hardest, otherwise I will only be wasting my time.

What do you do to push yourself to be the best you can be? How do you ignore the progress of others who are better than you?

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